Thursday, August 11, 2011

This is Going to Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You

 So, yeah, this is my first blog. Warning: It may suck. However, I decided that it's about time I started writing one. I want to get better at writing, so I figure this is a good, possibly humiliating, way to get better at it. I can't promise it will be all wine and roses. Ok, I amend that there will be wine, but definitely not roses. Also, I'm pretty neurotic so this could either be: a) Gratifying because you will discover that hey, you're not so bad! b) Annoying c) Amusing in the way that it is amusing when someone trips on an uneven sidewalk or d) Some other 4th thing. I can promise that there will be untoward, unladylike language, possibly some short stories I've written, music I'm listening to, books I'm reading and other posts of stuff I like, so on and so forth, etc., etc.. So, consider this my pilot episode. It may get better as the season moves along or it may get cancelled. Okay, now that we have gotten the disclaimers out of the way:

 
Today, I went to register my soon-to-be 4 year-old son, Ronan, for preschool at a private school. Up until I survived it this morning, the mere thought of it would send me into a blind panic and an episode of hyperventilating and having a Jan Brady-like inner dialogue with phrases like, "You can do this! They won't think you are a wanton whore and take it out on your son because you have tattoos, silly!" or "I know he's not a baby anymore, but pull yourself together, woman!" and "I wonder if there's any Blue Moons left in the fridge?" I'm not good at the requisite Mommy small talk with the other Mommies or with the teachers. I feel like I'll get sent to the principal's office. I feel like I'll be picked last in gym class. Again. So, this morning a bit of thought went into what I was going to wear, since chances are if you knocked on my door in the middle of the morning, I would probably scream, "Just a minute!" and run into the bathroom to wash the zit cream off of my face and then run to the bedroom to put on pants. And woe betide you if I forget to do either of these things. So I chose conservative Old Navy chinos and a v-neck shirt with sandals and my hair in a bun and minimal makeup. No cleavage, the nose ring is out and I swiped off my chipped black nail polish. (See?! See?! I'm normal! I'm normal!)


 Lest you should think I am completely self-absorbed because I haven't mentioned any worry for my son, it's because I don't worry about Ronan. He is a bright, out-going, articulate, funny and beautiful little boy. He's going to be amazing and have a wonderful time. I'm excited for him. It's me who's gonna be the one driving home from dropping him off on the first day of school, blubbering like a cry-baby, complete with runny nose and puffy eyes, all the way home.


Anyway, enough of that. So, do you think I would still get laid if I wore this to bed? What? No?

 

7 comments:

  1. I bet the other Moms were envious.

    I thought that was Mel Gibson in that robe.

    Also, I type this while wearing chipped, black nail polish.

    xoxo

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  2. Thanks, Nina! Yay, my first comment! xoxo It totally should be Mel Gibson in that robe since he is bat-shit crazy anyway! Ha.

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  3. This blog is great - you will do great. And Ronan is amazing - you're right. I still cannot get over how sweet he was to me the first night I came to your house AND how outgoing he is. Must be his mom's great influence.

    If you need me to ride with you to drop Ronan off that day and hold your hand, let me know. I'll see what I can do
    <3

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  4. Yaaaaayyyy, Tennille!!! I'm glad you had a "get off your ass" kind of day! Those are the best- especially when it results in something awesome like this! : ) I'll keep checking in and harassing/annoying/motivating you! Can't wait to read more! <3

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  5. This is super damn exciting. Please keep writing, because most bloggers out there are very boring and you are very awesome and unboring. Thanks, The Management.

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  6. A couple of things:

    A) I am super proud of you and dammitt you are lovely.
    B.) I would get more laid if I wore that to bed in my house. and that is wrong.

    love you vff

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  7. You had me at "unladylike language". I'm so happy you're doing this. The internetz need another smart, funny, articulate writer broad. I am in sweatpants and have chipped red glitter polish on my toes even as I type.

    ReplyDelete

About Me

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Putting the "awe" in "awkward" since 1976. I'm a happily married, stay-at-home mom of two wonderful kids; My daughter, born May of '04 and my son, born August of '07. I love reading, art, music & movies.